Listen up peasants!

The Queen of England has been hospitalised! Has someone tried to assassinate her? Has she been mauled by her own Corgi? Have all those years of hat wearing and gentle waving finally caught up with her? No. She has a stomach bug. The worst case scenario (should you actually give a toss) is that she has Gastroenteritis, a stomach bug that the NHS don't even recommend you should see your GP about. 

First of all, admitting the Queen to hospital is a bigger waste of time and money than investing in a testicle kicking alarm clock. If this was anybody else, in pretty much anywhere else in the world, they'd be told to shut up and stop moaning like that 'friend' on Facebook who keeps posting statuses just to get attention (you know the one I mean). And quite rightly. Apart from wasting tax-payers' money on unnecessary treatment, you'd also be wasting the valuable time of doctors and nurses and receptionists. Why the Queen should be treated any differently from anybody else is beyond me. We're being told "we're all in it together", yet if you're suffering from a stomach bug you won't be rushed to hospital (if your hospital is still there after the cutbacks), nobody will care and you'll still have to go into work since if you take a few days off you'll starve, because the government took away your benefits (which you pay for through taxes) so the Queen can receive treatment she doesn't need and that you'd be refused. 

Secondly, nobody seems to notice anything wrong with all of the above. People just swallow it all up because the media devote a wildly inappropriate amount of time in broadcasting painfully dull details of posh peoples' lives. The BBC's Royal Correspondent, Nicholas Witchell, looks like the kind of grovelling little man who you'd find in a poorly written play. He, along with many other Royal Correspondents, seem to have no lives, only doing anything whenever the royal family do anything  (I am aware of the irony of me commenting on their commenting). Essentially royal correspondents are parasites living off parasites. And yet thousands of people scream like lobotomised peasants whenever there is a royal event. Why? In 2013 there is no need for a royal family, they're just a drain on society. They do not make the country richer through tourism either so don't even comment about that. Buckingham Palace would make much more money if it was owned by the national trust. Opening it to the public for a fee would pay for its upkeep, rather than taxpayers' money paying for all of those rooms that lie empty. No doubt some middle and upper class people will disagree entirely with everything I've wrote. These are also the kind of people who look down their noses at people who like Big Brother and other reality TV shows. Now don't get me wrong, I am not a fan of any of these shows, but the royal family are essentially serving the same purpose as Big Brother, but for the middle and upper classes.

Ah well, back to work, peasants.