Budget Day: The most magical day of the year!

Arse-nosed chancellor George Orsborne has announced his new budget for the coming year. Unsurprisingly its more bleak than the Antarctic weather forecast. Osborne said his budget is for "those who want to work and get on", which is fine, provided you can find work since he's closed the Job Centres. If you are in a job and want to just get on then maybe you'll be okay? Unless you work in the public sector. If that is the case then you might lose your job and with inflation you'll be effectively taking a pay cut. The private sector isn't doing well either. Obviously it wouldn't take up the slack after the moronic cutting of public sector workers, but it isn't even responding to the incentives the government are trying to offer - hence the lack of growth.

One supposed positive that the Tories are trying to push on us is that some parents will be able to "claim back up to £1,200 a year for each child - or 20% of childcare costs - from 2015". On the face of it this doesn't seem too bad, but when you think about it, it just isn't. First of all the scheme doesn't start until 2015, by which time the economy may be in a better state (probably not, but maybe we'll find oil reserves in Slough or something) and that £1,200 may not be needed as much as it is right now, when some families are having to go to food banks. Secondly that same £1,200 won't be worth quite as much in 2015 after inflation. Thirdly the scheme only applies to some families, which means there will be some people missing out. Finally it is only partly replacing the universal child benefit system that Osborne and Co. decided to abolish. It is hardly a major step forward, more like getting rid of your 6 year old Fiat Punto then shortly replacing it with an 9 and a half year old Fiat Punto. 

Another 'positive' is that there are plans to build "affordable" housing. Actually, these are plans to encourage more "affordable" homes to be built. Of course there wouldn't be a shortage of affordable homes if the previous Tory government didn't sell off almost all of the council houses. The other problem with this is that most people can't afford a house at all and the Tory idea of an affordable house is probably a 5 bedroom detached property somewhere in Surrey. 

The final most worrying thing is that Osborne has said that growth for 2013 will be 0.6%, half of the 1.2% he predicted in his Autumn statement. I'm not quite sure what catastrophe has happened to make him half his prediction. Maybe he was just presuming the Mayan calendar was accurate and he wouldn't have to worry about all of this.

Ah well, we may all be getting poorer while the rich get richer as the moral and physical fabric of our society slowly decays around us, but at least there wasn't that increase in the price of beer. 

My 2013 budget - save enough money to drink away your troubles.