Idiots buy anything.

If you have paid money for a hand wash dispenser that has a sensor so you don't have to touch it, then you're an idiot. It isn't any more hygienic that a normal dispenser. Once you have touched the dispenser to get the hand wash then that is the last time you touch it. Then you wash your hands with the hand wash and carry on with life. There is no hygienic benefit in not touching the dispenser. Please don't pay extra money for this.

It isn't the only product that is phenomenally stupid, there are plenty more that are clearly aimed at people with more money than sense. So many cosmetic adverts use obviously made-up 'science' to justify claims that nobody on this planet can rightfully make. No product is anti-ageing unless it can stop time. Nothing can make your hair alive or stop it dying because hair is dead cells. Even yoghurt isn't just yoghurt any more. For some reason it can't just be advertised as a tasty and reasonably healthy snack, instead it has to have some sort of seemingly impossible power. They all seem to have some wonderful bacteria inside or no fat or can stop you feeling bloated. I remember one advert claiming that eating their yoghurt for two weeks will stop you feeling bloated. If anybody really believed that eating those for two weeks stops you feeling bloated then you are an official buffoon. The passage of 14 days is what stops you feeling bloated. I rarely feel anything 2 weeks solid.

In summary, a fool and his money are easily parted. Don't be a fool.

Books.

Sometimes you just want to escape for a while and forget about things, or you might just want to relax, or be entertained. Here are some books that I'd highly recommend.

Any of the Sherlock Holmes books by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle are brilliant. I would advise you to read them chronologically as it only serves to enhance the reading experience. Even if crime and mystery isn't your thing you can't fail to appreciate how clever these stories are.

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon is an excellent read. Not something you can read over and over, but most definitely worth reading.

The Count of Monte Cristo and The Three Musketeers, both by Alexandre Dumas. They are both fantastic stories, but neither of them are short books and I wouldn't describe them as easy reads. Well worth the effort though.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series by Douglas Adams is brilliant. Clever, funny, thought-provoking, imaginative and sometimes true, these books are certainly 'must reads'.

Enjoy!

Cuts cuts cuts.

I was going to try and write about the spending review and the cuts within it but I gave up. It is all way too complicated and boring and we'd be here all day. So instead I'll just say that overall it looks pretty bleak and the chancellor is essentially evil.

There's my summary, I'm now off to cry.

Wimbledon!

The tennis tournament kicked off this week and I have to say, I'm bored. I can't understand why a sport that isn't particularly entertaining or even that popular or talked about in most parts of the world suddenly receives so much coverage. I can understand that Wimbledon is important if you're a tennis fan, but why does it have to completely take over the BBC?

Luckily it is quite nice outside today so I think I'll go out. Goodbye.

BBC Sport.

The BBC news channel now features a dedicated sports centre. Unfortunately it is a massive waste of money. An entire studio devoted to a 5 minute (at most) sports bulletin is certainly unnecessary. The same level of information could be achieved by the usual newsreader continuing to read off the autocue.

Not only is all of this vastly over-the-top, it is also mostly useless. The majority of the time is devoted to football and even then it is usually just one or two stories from top flight football. Pretty useless if you support one of the many teams outside of the Premier League. Most of the other sports stories are generally more middle class sports, such as tennis or rugby union, or just simply one of the few sporting events that the BBC actually has the rights to any more. Cricket is only ever covered if there in an international match, despite excellent, competitive games going on between counties throughout the summer. Even when cricket is mentioned it is only fleetingly. Often the batting side's score is announce and how many wickets down they are (98 for 2, for example), but this isn't enough. In limited overs cricket you really need to know how many overs have been bowled. If a team is 98 for 2 after 19 overs of a Twenty20 match then that isn't a particularly good score, even if they have only lost two wickets. However if a team is 98 for 2 after 15 overs of a Twenty20 match then you'd expect them to get a good score.

Outside of the top level of the top sports there is barely anything reported, which really makes you wonder what all of these people at the BBC's sports centre are doing. Most of the presenters only know anything about one sport. Often names are pronounced incorrectly or they simply don't know what they are talking about.

I'm all for the BBC having a dedicated sports centre, but use it properly. A big studio for 5 minutes of football news just doesn't seem worth it to me.

Hay Fever.

Many people suffer from Hay Fever and it is very annoying, especially when the weather outside is lovely and sunny. As I'm short on time today, here are a few tips to help you cope.

Use prescription medicine, it is usually better than shop bought stuff.

Wear sunglasses.

Wash your hands and face regularly.

Eat some local honey.

Try not to think about it.

Summer is officially here!

As the Google Doodle accurately informs me, today is the summer solstice, the longest day of the year. Today is the official start of summer, although the weather outside may suggest otherwise. Regardless of the weather this time of year we should all be out doing thing, after all, there is no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothes. I could try and give you some fun outdoors things to do, but lets face it, there are far too many. Instead here are some good summer songs that can hopefully form your summer soundtrack this year.

Here Comes the Sun - The Beatles

Seems like a good song to start with. Hopefully we will actually see some sun here in the U.K this year.

In the Summertime - Mungo Jerry

An obvious choice but it is probably the classic summer song. Doesn't really matter where you are, as long as the sun is out this song sounds great. Shaggy also covered this song quite successfully.

All Summer Long - Kid Rock

Another obvious choice (it's got Summer in the title) but it is a good summer song. Most of the music is taken from Sweet Home Alabama, which is another good song and wouldn't be a bad choice for your summer soundtrack.

Summer Breeze - The Isley Brothers

This will be the last one with summer in the title I promise. Perfect song to listen to if you're sat outside in the sun, with a gentle summer breeze. Obviously.

Brimful of Asha - Cornershop

I've featured this song before but that is simply because it is so good. It sounds especially great in summer. Enjoy.

Brown Eyed Girl - Van Morrison

Last but not least, this really is a fantastic song. A good tapping beat and very good driving song on a hot summer's day.

Well there you go, just a few songs there. I could've included plenty of Beach Boys' songs as well as Love Generation by Bob Sinclair and some others, but the ones I've mentioned are probably my favourites. Have a good summer everyone.

A recipe.

Well, I've never wrote a recipe before and no doubt this one will probably be terrible. And my last. Ah well, here we go.

Peel enough potatoes so you can make a decent amount a mash for yourself. Boil the potatoes, add a bit of butter and a splash of milk and mash them.

While the potatoes are boiling get an egg, maybe two. (Depends how big they are/how much you like egg)

Scramble the eggs. Do it how you usually do. Or you can put them in a bowl, put them in the microwave for a minute at a time and whisk them up until they're how you like 'em.

Put some baked beans in a pan (Heinz are best, I don't know why, they just are) and heat them up.

Now if everything looks edible and nothing is on fire, mix the mash potato, beans and scrambled eggs together in a bowl and eat.

Use a spoon.

I call it eggs, potato and beans.

(Recipes are hard. This post inspired by hunger)

World Sauntering Day.

With all of the depressing or worrying stories in the news lately I think it is worthwhile reminding everyone that today is World Sauntering Day. So take it nice and easy and appreciate the world around you. I'm celebrating the occasion by not writing any more today.

The Apprentice and Barry Scott.

I can't tell if the Cillit Bang adverts and the BBC's The Apprentice are serious or not. Are they tongue-in-cheek, just for entertainment or are they actually genuine.

First off, Cillit Bang is so over-the-top that you'd think it can't be serious. At the same time however it isn't quite ludicrous enough to make me sure. The adverts are fronted by Barry Scott, who isn't actually a real person and is in fact an effusive character played by Neil Burgess. What I can't figure out is whether or not the advert as a whole is taking itself seriously. Using Scott would make you think that it is either tongue-in-cheek or they can't afford anyone better. Cillit Bang don't look classy enough to have an M&S style advert, but equally they can afford prime advertisement slots. I just can't figure it out. If someone from Cillit Bang, or Barry Scott, sorry Neil Burgess, can let me know then that'd be greatly appreciated.

Secondly and perhaps more importantly is whether or not The Apprentice is actually a serious program. It receives a prime-time slot on the BBC as well as coverage on other shows and ever sometimes on the news. The 'judges' are also all people with genuine business backgrounds, even if Alan Sugar isn't all that great. The overall appearance and advertising of the show, combined with the stuff I just said does make the show seem serious. Where this serious front falls down however is the contestants. They're thick. They're thick but think they're god's gift to mankind. Are these people really worthy of the apprenticeship prize? It seems that wearing a suit, having a blackberry and an expensive haircut are all you need to be a businessman/woman. Oh and you have to be a t**t. If these are the best the business world has to offer then no bloody wonder the economy collapsed.

Are they both serious? Answers on a postcard. (by which I mean leave a comment in the comments box below)

Happy Father's Day.

It isn't really a proper day, more like a day invented by card companies to make a bit more money, but ah well. Have a good day dads.

It's Global Wind Day!

Fortunately/unfortunately (depending on your perspective) it is nothing to do with flatulence and is in fact a celebration of wind.

There are plenty of uses for wind so go and find something you enjoy. If it isn't windy then find out about how useful wind can be. Here are some useful websites.

How to celebrate Global Wind Day

Global Wind Day

The European Wind Energy Association

Anyway, I'm off to enjoy the sunshine and pleasant cooling breeze.

The News.

You'd think that rolling news would be very informative and, as a result, very useful. Unfortunately I don't think this is the case. Regardless of how much news there is the information is just repeated on a 20 minute cycle. Surely news channels should be giving us more information if they are broadcasting 24/7.

Watching the news today you'd probably hear about Syria. You'd also hear about how the USA are providing arms to the rebels. I am trying to form an opinion on all of the news stories coming out of Syria but the news doesn't really help. I know things are never black and white and it won't be as simple as good guys vs bad guys, but I personally have no idea why all of this is going on. I know that it is going on and that people are dying, but as to why I haven't a clue. Can't the news tell me this? I'm bombarded with names of leaders and groups but I don't know what they stand for or their past or sometimes who on earth they are.

The other issue is that I never know how detailed or accurate the reporting is. I've never been to these countries so I have very little idea of their media culture. For all I know the reporting could be incredibly biased, either deliberately or accidentally.

In summary, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!

Google, pay your taxes.

C'mon now, you're rich enough, just pay it.

The North-South Divide.

I don't know how aware people from outside of England are about this, but there is a clear divide between the north and south. The government are always quick to deny this as it doesn't reflect well on them, but there is so much evidence of a divide.

Yesterday a map showing areas with the highest amounts of early deaths was published along with the relative figures. This map shows a very obvious divide between north and south, with the north being far worse off. I understand that attitudes in the north are different to the south and that that may have some effect, but this does not explain everything. There are many socio-economic factors at play here. A big factor is that spending has been cut harshly in the north right across the board, meaning that councils have less money to educate people on living healthily.

Transport is another area where there is a divide. Londoners have around £2700 spent per head on transport whereas those in the north-east have £5. Generally, the further north you head the less is spent per head on transport.

The majority of applicants to the two best universities (Oxford and Cambridge) are from the south. Although the universities are based down south so that will have some effect.

GCSE results are generally better in the south than the north, which naturally questions teaching standards and budgets.

A key figure is unemployment. Recently hiring has increased in the south while lay offs have increased in the north, at around four times the rate in the south.

So us northerners won't be educated, can't get from A to B, can't get a job and will die early, but don't worry, the government say we're all in it together.

Can someone pay me to do this?

I need money, for a car. Well actually I can afford a car, but not the insurance. Basically, can someone pay me to write? I know this blog isn't very good, but I do at least churn out about a post a day, with punctuation and everything.

Now I know that that isn't going to happen, but does anybody have any job tips? 

(this is a very desperate attempt to get someone to comment and get money)

(it won't work)

Yeehaw! It's a news roundup.

You know how this works by now.

Morality isn't dead

The man who leaked details of US spying habits has revealed himself to be Edward Snowden. He says his reasons for leaking the information he did were because he felt it was immoral. Good on you Mr Snowden for risking so much to try and protect people's freedom. Unfortunately he now risks prosecution in the United States, so he is seeking asylum. I hope he finds it.

The worst terrorists in the world

Six men were sentenced today for plotting to bomb and English Defence League Rally. These were the same men who had previously attempted to bomb a rally, but turned up late, finding that everyone had packed up and gone home. The reason why this time they were caught is because they hadn't insured their car and were pulled over by police. I'm not a terrorist but I imagine Avoid the Police is somewhere near Rule No.1 in the Big Book of Terrorism. I would also like to point out that I am in no way whatsoever defending the EDL, I just don't think exploding them would do much good. This whole story wouldn't have happened if there weren't racists groups like the EDL. Unfortunately some Islamic idiots wanted to harm some white, British idiots. Don't tar people with the same brush.

Nelson Mandela

Sadly Nelson Mandela is in hospital again and his condition is described as serious but stable. I, like millions of other people I'm sure, sincerely hope he pulls through. I think you'll have to wait a long time to find a tougher, more resilient or more inspiring man than Nelson Mandela. Get well soon.

Briefly, Britain's Got Talent.

I haven't watched this series of Britain's Got Talent because I not find it boring. It used to be okay for a laugh of some light entertainment but it has just gone on too long. I did however catch some of the final.

The highlight for me was the egg thrower. I won't go into detail but the way she stood there lobbing eggs at Simon Cowell, with a huge grin across her face, as though she was showering him with rose petals was hilarious. As for the act going on behind her, well it was mediocre at best. They weren't bad singers but they weren't that great. The comedian wasn't very funny, but for a 14 year old I suppose he is pretty good and much braver than me. Especially when you consider that he has cerebral palsy, although if he wasn't disabled then I'm not entirely sure he would've got so far in the competition.

The puzzling thing for me though is that the winners were Hungarian. I thought it was Britain's Got Talent? Don't get me wrong, I think we should celebrate our cultural diversity, but surely by them winning it it proves that Britain hasn't got talent.

Ah well, I wonder when Hungary's Got Talent starts?

BBC Question Time.

I occasionally watch Question Time on BBC One, but every time I do I think that it is a complete waste of money and is very boring. This isn't because I find politics completely dull or think that there isn't a need for political debate, because there is.

The problem I have is that there is no political debate on Question Time. For me a debate is a useful argument. In a debate if somebody makes a statement that you disagree with then you should deconstruct what the person has said and explain why you think they are wrong and what in your view is the correct way of doing something. Instead on Question Time each person on the panel simply offers a contradictory statement to the other. They don't debate at all. The Tory politician will just stick to the the Tory rhetoric, the Labour politician will stick to the Labour rhetoric, the Lib-Dem politician will stick to the Lib-Dem Tory rhetoric and so on. None of the panellists are willing to change their opinions or points of view. Therefore no matter how long the show goes on for, no progress will be made.

Another issue with the show I have, aside from all of the aforementioned making it very dull, is the audience. The typical audience seems to consist of a bigot, an angry person, a posh person, a moron, a bumbling person and only one person who can actually articulate a reasonable question or statement that reflects most normal people's views.

On the whole, it isn't just Question Time that fails to provide any political debate, this is just the mainstream example. In fact if you watch almost any political show or even BBC Parliament, there is no debate at all. The whole political attitude is wrong. In the House of Commons all they ever do is shout and jeer. Is it any wonder hardly anyone votes any more?

Complex things.

As a general rule, people are idiots. That is why whenever people are confronted with something so complex that they can't comprehend, they make things up. I'm pretty sure this is why there is religion. Religions have arisen to explain the enormously complex planet that we live on and what happens once we stop living on it. For example, try and imagine being dead. It is impossible, we simply can't comprehend it. You'd have no feeling, no sensations, no memory and no thoughts. We just can't imagine what it would be like. This scares some people, because let's be honest, unknown things can be scary. That is why people have invented the afterlife, so they can imagine what it is like to be dead, even if it isn't true, it is comforting. There are other aspects of religion that have been invented, because the scientific answer or reasoning is too complex for people to comprehend. Evolution is pretty complicated so for convenience people have invented creationism.

Religion isn't the only example of people making things up when things become complex. There are many superstitions and habits that people do, just because something good happened the last time they did it, or something bad happened when they didn't do it. There is a fine line between superstition and doing something for a reason. For example, washing your hands before performing surgery is something that every surgeon does, but not through superstition. Finding a four leaf clover is considered lucky, but it isn't, they are just uncommon, so this is clearly superstition. However if you do something superstitious often enough so it becomes a habit, it can actually have a positive effect on you. For example if you are getting kitted up for a sports match and get dressed in an order unusual to you then you might feel uncomfortable and not play as well. It is really just what your brain associates with said superstition.

Most superstitions come about because of coincidence. There are so many things going on at the same time across this vast planet that there are bound to be coincidences. Often these coincidences are mistaken as something mystical and become superstition.

So sorry, but those lucky pants you have aren't really lucky, it was just a coincidence.

Mammoths.

In the vast frozen lands of Siberia, the remains of Mammoths have been discovered. For paleontologists these are fantastic finds, especially the recent find of a Mammoth with flowing blood (still dead, the blood just hadn't dried). Scientists can use these discoveries to find out more about these magnificent creatures as well as the ice age habitat they lived and ultimately died in. There is even talk of cloning these giants and maybe in the not too distant future we will see Mammoths in zoos.

What I want to know however, is what they taste like. Everyone knows that early man hunted and ate Mammoths and now they are quite clearly extinct. So, were Mammoths delicious? We have wiped out entire species just for food before; the flightless (and evidently scrumptious) Dodo being the most obvious example. If we clone large animals with ease in the future then maybe that will ease food stresses across the world. I would really like to try a Mammoth steak. Don't get me wrong, I don't think we should clone one Mammoth, eat it and say 'job done', we should try and clone enough for a breeding, captive population, if we can. If I'm totally honest I'm curious as to what Panda tastes like, but I'm not going to try and eat one, they're far too endangered.

Call me a monster, but it is just a healthy curiosity. Also at the time of writing I'm really rather hungry. Anyway, I hope we clone Mammoths and I won't eat one unless they become plentiful. Provided we don't run out a sausages any time soon.

If.

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling

Live by these words.

Australia with Simon Reeve.

I am incredibly jealous of Simon Reeve. He has a fantastic job; travelling the world and getting paid for it. Granted he does have to write and present television shows, but that is a pretty small price to pay for seeing some amazing places. I have nothing against Simon Reeve, I actually quite like him, I just wish I had a job like his. His latest series, Australia with Simon Reeve was excellent, as were the other series he presented. If you have some spare time I urge you to watch them (they should be on BBC iPlayer or YouTube somewhere).

Now moving on to Australia itself, it seems like the country is going through an important period. Australia is going through a resources boom which will, inevitably, end at some point. Once this does end what will the impacts be? If Australia can get it right and not pollute too much or become too dependant on natural resources then surely the rest of the world can learn how to be more sustainable in the future. Australia could be a good barometer for the entire planet. We might be doomed in so many ways, but if we can fix things in Australia then maybe there is hope for the rest of us. Good luck Aussies.

Busy day.

Sorry for the lack of posting lately, but I've been quite busy. Not only that, but the sun has been shining and it is the weekend, so we all have better things to do. Enjoy your Sunday everyone.